TTC: Remember when you wanted what you currently have? Can you cast your mind back to who you were then? This is not to negate what you are going through right now as you ttc, but it allows you to get perspective.

So let’s play with this idea a little and think about its trajectory. At school we wanted to get our exams, then go to college or get a job. Next we wanted the snazzy car, the flat in that cool area, the hot boyfriend, the trips overseas. As our career grew we wanted more responsibility, more money. We looked to get promoted, to move up, perhaps to lead. Then our dreams moved on to finding the perfect partner to spend our life with. Our list of ‘wants’ goes on and on. I guess where I’m going with this is that there is always something more that we want, and this is because our brain is great at adapting to change. When it gets what it wants it starts to take it for granted. It’s nobody’s fault. We’re just built that way. This is what makes us human. The mind then starts to focus on the next thing, and the next, driving us forwards…

When you reflect back to what you have now, and how hard it took to get here – it’s pretty amazing really. All that effort, hard work and persistence. You did that. That was you. But because your brain would much rather focus on what you don’t have yet, you conveniently forget all the hard work it took to get where you are, and focus on what you want but don’t have at the moment. We all do this. All. The. Time.

Instead, can you gently remind yourself of the love, friendships, safety, connection and belonging (add yours here too) that you have in your life right now, and how far you’ve come. Your fertility issues are part of you, but not all of you. You are much, much more.


TTC – Trying to Conceive