TTC: If I told you there was one word that would help you feel calmer and more in control, would you want to know what it was?

If you’re fed up with mulling over the same fears and you want to shift how you’re thinking, but don’t know how – try this with me.

How Kindness helps

Find a quiet, warm place to lie down and settle yourself comfortably so you can stay and rest for a while. As you breathe, think about something that is worrying you. Give it a bit of ‘charge’ as you think about it. Then, say the word ‘Trouble’. Keep repeating it – “Trouble, trouble, trouble …” as you think that thought.

What do you notice as you do this?

You might find that you feel more agitated and your heart is beating a little faster. Some of you might notice that you’ve your clenched jaw. For others, your throat may feel dry, there might be a tenderness around the heart. What is it for you? Try not to change anything just keep repeating the word ‘trouble’ – do this for 1 minute slowly.

Now mix it up. As you lie here keep thinking about what is worrying you, but this time say the word ‘Kindness’. Keep repeating it gently to yourself – “Kindness, kindness, kindness …” and again notice what happens. Again, do this for 1 minute.

When I do this I can feel my shoulders soften, my breath feels a little calmer, my heart a little lighter. It’s amazing to realise how one small, simple word can make a huge difference to how I feel.

How the magic happens

As you are well aware, that thing that was worrying you hasn’t disappeared. You haven’t got rid of it, or pushed it away permanently. But what has happened is that because you have said something kind and softened – you’ve changed your relationship with the fear thought. You’re not holding it so tightly in your body and as a result it often feels more manageable.

If you’ve got a big week ahead and you recognise that you’re feeling anxious, remember this word ‘kindness’. Keep repeating it to yourself when you’re in a stressful situation eg. as you wait to at your clinic to give blood, as you pee on a stick in the morning, as you go in for a medical procedure.

Allow this simple word to help you be kind to yourself when crazy things are going on around you. If you gently repeat it to yourself you’ll feel more in control and calmer. And who doesn’t need more of that as you ttc? Bring it on.

*TTC Trying To Conceive