TTC: Is it really possible to forgive and forget? Forgiveness is hard, and it happens at a different pace for everyone. It takes space and time to process what you’ve gone through and that takes patience and commitment. I like to think about forgiveness in 3 ways:
- Forgiveness towards someone who has hurt you.
- Forgiveness for something you have done to someone else.
- Forgiveness towards yourself.
Forgiveness plays a large part on a fertility journey so that you can move on and start to heal. But often, when you start to process what has happened, rather than feel better you feel worse, because it opens old wounds which makes forgiveness a difficult path to travel.
Forgive and Forget?
So how do we move on? There is a lovely quote from Oprah Winfrey which says, ‘Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.’ This resonates with me.
Forgiveness is not about forgetting. You acknowledge what has happened, but realise that if you focus on it too deeply it only causes you more pain (and cuts you off from the love and support those around you who want to be there for you).
Forgiveness releases the stranglehold that shame and blame has over you – so you come back into balance and flourish once more.
Often when you explore what has happened, rather than blaming yourself, if you can approach what you’ve gone through with kindness and compassion, this is the path to forgiveness.
Forgiveness softens your heart
When you let go and forgive and your heart starts to soften and the huge weight that you’ve been holding on to, lessens. You’re finally able to take off that burden that you’ve been carrying around, and you feel lighter, happier and more in control.
When you let go of negativity and forgive your thoughts become clearer. Rather than focusing on what you thought had happened, you start to see things as they really are.
Sharing & acknowledging is the path to healing
As always, sharing your story and having it acknowledged is way way to start the process of forgiveness. When you talk about what you’ve been through you feel lighter, and all that energy that has gone into being angry you can now use to support you and your fertility journey.
If you can relate to this, start this process today.
*TTC Trying to Conceive