TTC: What percentage of your day do you think about your fertility issues? 20%, 50%, even 100%? If you do you’re not alone. Most of us live in our heads. Our thoughts rule our emotions. When we’re stressed we say things like ‘I need some headspace’, ‘I can’t think straight’, ‘my head hurts from thinking too much’. But when something difficult happens and things don’t go as we would wish, because we’re so used to using being in our head we often don’t know another way to process what we’re going through. We disregard our instinct, we don’t trust our intuition.
I am loving the latest scientific research which has just come out which shows that we have three brains (see the fab book by Grant Soosalu/Marvin Oka, called ‘Mbraining: Using your multiple brains to do cool stuff‘.) They’re just catching up – yogis have know this for years! You have complex and fully functional brains in your heart, your gut and your head. Here’s an overview of how it works:
- Head Brain: most of us only educate the brain in our head. It’s great for analysis, differentiation and it’s very two dimensional (right/wrong, good/bad, yes/no). Often when your focus is solely on the head brain you act from a place of scarcity eg.’ You have what I want. If you have it I can’t have it’. This is such common ground for many of us ttc. You feel if your friend/sister/colleague at work gets pregnant it means you won’t. Can you relate to this? I know I can. When this happens see if you can catch yourself, say gently, kindly, ‘let it go’. This is your Head Brain talking.
- Gut Brain: The brain in our gut connects us to nourishment, connection and instinct. You may have heard the phrase ‘trust your gut’, well it’s true! Remember your head can often be wrong, but your gut never lies. Often when your gut speaks to you it’s instinctive, you don’t know how you know it, you just do. Deep in your boots you know what you are thinking is right for you. When this happens next time don’t ignore it, trust it! Interestingly when you listen to your gut your thoughts are more aligned around ‘what you have I have’ / ‘your happiness is my happiness’. You know that if its possible for your friend to get pregnant, then you’ve got every chance that it will happen for you too. Connection happens and it’s instinctive. This is your Gut Brain talking.
- Heart Brain: The heart brain also encompasses the lungs. What I love about this heart/lung brain is that they both exert to give, then have to completely relax to receive. An example of this is when you go for a run, your effort in breathing is on the exhale, the inhale happens naturally. The same thing happens in your heart. The effort is in pumping the blood around your body. When it completely relaxes that swell of blood thats been pushed out into the body comes rushing back into the heart. Remember if you’re always striving to get then it’s harder to receive. When you relax and take the effort out of it so often this is when good stuff happens and you open up to possibility. Next time something triggers you and you feel frightened, put your hand on your heart, breathe softly into you palms. Say something to yourself that you need to hear in that moment; ‘it’s going to be OK’, ‘I love you, keep breathing’, ‘I am doing the best that I can’. This is your Heart Brain talking.
If you lead your life by your head brain and ignore the gut, heart/lung brain often strain appears, either mental, emotional or physical. We need to connect all three brains in order to feel fulfilled and happy. If you are someone (or you live with someone) who can analyse things perfectly with your head but the other parts of your being are not in balance, overtime issues will occur. Slowing down, breathing, being kind to yourself, being compassionate towards your partner and the situation that you’re in, dropping judgement and trusting you know what is best for you – this is how you open up to the Gut Brain and Heart Brain. Start exploring this head, heart, gut connection today.