Trying to get pregnant and stay positive when you’ve had bad experiences is tough. I remember thinking if I knew it was going to turn out OK in the end I could cope with anything. But as you very well know there are no guarantees. No guarantees but one, which is that ‘everything changes’. The very wonderful Pema Chödrön an American Tibetan Buddhist nun writes “what does being human mean in terms of day-to-day life? Above all it means understanding that everything changes”. This is true for everyone, not just those of us with fertility issues.
So how does this help us? I guess it means that you will not feel the way you do or be in this headspace forever. (It can seem that way I know, particularly for those of us who have been travelling this road for a while now…) Self belief is so important. When I think about my own fertility issues and the hundreds of women I have worked with over the years, one thing that connects most of us is this:
We don’t believe enough in ourselves and we rely on others too much to sort us out.
If we believe that we are failing in our efforts to become parents and judge our lives by what others have. If we don’t practice the techniques that resonate to help us find calm. If we don’t learn to love ourselves and are self critical or judgemental, the road ahead becomes much harder to navigate. When we learn to trust our inner wisdom, when we slow life down and listen to what our intuition is telling us we start to understand ourselves more deeply. This wisdom might come from a conversation with a friend, something you read or sitting quietly and closing your eyes. Slowly, gradually, over time, insights will start to come and from here you can put this to good use to help you decide on the best way ahead.
Living with fertility issues is hard. You can choose to make this road harder or easier depending on your outlook. If you can do the work to understand yourself better and then act on these insights this is the very essence of ‘everything changes’. Everything you are doing, every step that you take whether good or bad is leading you towards your longed for child. And when you connect with this inner certainty and start to shift the way you think, this might just give rise to new beginnings and new openings so that your baby can come to you.