TTC: Mistakes. Screw ups. Faults. If you’re anything like me the lists of ‘things I could have done better’ is robust and lengthy. And one thing that often happens is that we play them back in our mind, we study them from every angle, we blame ourselves and look at how we could have done things better. The should’a, could’a thoughts that we so often have of blame and guilt are often inextricably linked to our fertility story. As women TTC I feel that we give ourselves such a hard time, show ourselves little compassion, and judge ourselves so harshly. How many times have you said to yourself ‘ this is never going to work’, ‘I’m going to have a miscarriage again’, ‘my body can’t create a healthy baby’. Can you relate? I know I can.
So how do we move forward?
Our yoga practice helps us become aware of how we are thinking. We notice our monkey mind as we move and breathe and importantly what stories we are telling ourselves. I don’t know about you but for me there is so much wasted energy spent on worry. Things often turn out quite differently to my fears. Afterwards in the warm glow of relief I say to myself that ‘next time’ I need to stop going there in the beginning, rather than an eye rolling nod to myself afterwards when things have turned out differently. When we are aware of how we are thinking, or even more importantly the patterns of thinking, see if you can catch yourself. Gently, kindly say ‘I am doing the best that I can’, ‘I don’t know how this will turn out but it will be ok’. Take a breath and see if you can think about your own story in a different way. Is it a lesson or a blessing? Either way see if you can approach it with less judgement and more kindness and compassion. Start this today.